All Hail the Power of my B

All hail the "power of the V".  Ladies, are you pissed yet?  You should be.

I went to a movie recently, and the theater showed a commercial before the film.  Imagine this: The sun dawns over the horizon as a male voiceover announces, "It's the cradle of life."  Mesopotamia?  Epic battle scenes play as the man continues, "Men fight for it, die for it." SEC Football?  "Some say it is THE most powerful thing on EARTH!"  Oprah??  Then, suddenly, the scene cuts to a woman pushing her shopping cart down a grocery store aisle.  She stops to examine a display of Summer's Eve feminine wash and cleansing cloths.  The voice, now a chipper female, says, "So ladies... take good care of it!  Summer's Eve- hail to the power of the V!"  Immediately, two distinct sounds filled the theater- female gasps and male guffaws.  I cannot begin to explain how enraged I was, but just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I see that the ads are now being nationally broadcast on television. 

So, I went to Summer's Eve's website to post a complaint, but their position is that they are actually empowering women, and that, in fact, "it's about time vaginas were celebrated for their awesomeness."  You've got to be kidding me.  Tell me, Summer's Eve, what's so awesome about it?  It's a body part that serves a specific purpose.  Grand.  So is my elbow.  So are my ears, but I don't see Q-Tips hailing the power of the E's.  Personally, I wish to celebrate the awesomeness of women's brains.  How about hailing the power of the B?  Lets, for a moment, put aside the fact that physicians agree your products are not only unnecessary, but possibly harmful.  What's up with telling women our anatomy is awesome, but only if it's appropriately scoured with chemicals first.  Face it, you are preying on the insecurities of women, and you must be destroyed. 

The saddest women I know, are those who define self-worth by men's perceptions of them.  You know the ones- you've probably got a few of them on your Facebook friends list.  You don't know what (or if) they read, or how they feel about current events (American Idol and The Bachelorette don't count), but you've seen a bazillion pictures of them in crop tops, booty shorts, and bikinis, draped over a different guy in each one.  It's like they want to brag about how attractive men find them.  Well, congratulations?  What does this adoration buy, exactly?  Sex?  So someone wants to have sex with them... again, congratulations, but you know what?  Chances are, the most unattractive woman you've ever met has had sex; it's not that hard to procure.  I want to shake these women, and tell them that they are so much more than a physical shell placed on Earth for male enjoyment!  Not to mention the fact that these women are almost always trying to chase down the good ol' days.  A thirty-five year old, no matter how good of shape she's in, cannot compete with a twenty-five year old.  And you mid-twenties gals- you're going to be thirty-five so fast your heads will spin.  Trust me.  Please, ladies, find something real about yourselves to take pride in. 

My mother taught my sister and me that gender is as arbitrary as hair color.  She was always aware of society's seeming acceptance of sexism, so she did all she could to raise us as strong, independent women.  Looks didn't matter in my household.  I was told often that I was loved, smart, funny, capable, tenacious, etc., but I never, ever heard words like pretty, cute, thin, or any other physical qualifier (I might not have been all of these things, but my sister was, and she didn't hear them either).  My parents didn't remark on these things, because they didn't matter then, and they don't matter now.  Sure, every few years you will read about a study that finds "attractive" people to have better jobs and whatnot, but can you guess how many beauty queens are on Forbes' list of the 100 most powerful women?  (Alright, there's that one Alaskan, but anyway)

Daniel and I are doing our best to follow this parenting model.  I want my girls to feel self-assured and self-aware.  I want them to assert themselves, and doggedly pursue whatever goals they set.  I teach them that they can do anything they are willing to work for, and that confidence and determination are powerful.  And yet, sadly, the fine folks at Summer's Eve want a woman to believe that her true power comes from between her legs.  Nothing less, nothing more.  So take care of it ladies, they assert, or men won't care about you anymore, and you will have no power left at all.  So, friends, you can listen to Summer's Eve, or you can join my ranks of strong, self-thinking women.  We are, afterall, way too intelligent to listen to a bunch of douches.